


I Just Ride 'Em

by MeloAnnechen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Falcon and the Winter Soldier
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Strange Crews, a movie deal apparently, steal sixteen tons and what do you get, truth is stranger than fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24589018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeloAnnechen/pseuds/MeloAnnechen
Summary: The Howling Commandos had a mission.They would like to note for the record that the bank heist was not their fault. They just took advantage of the distraction.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson
Kudos: 1





	I Just Ride 'Em

“What the hell?” Barnes leaned towards the screen, “They made a movie about this?”

Wilson shrugged, “Yeah, the late sixties and early seventies had some really weird anti-war movies set during wars.”

“Nah, nah, nah,” Barnes muttered scrolling through his phone, “Who got the writing credit....” murmuring a few moments more, he sat back with a huff, “Monty. Well, okay - at least it wasn’t that crazy tank commander.”

“Man, there is no way this story is in the least bit factual,” Wilson said. “And it sure as hell wasn’t a reported action for your unit.”

“I’ll grant you the whole thing is full of inconsistencies, but the Howlies didn’t pull off the heist, we just took advantage of the confusion.” He rubbed his chin, “Might even be on purpose that the historical accuracy is for crap, considering the statute of limitations on tax returns.”

“Not the theft?”

“The biggest problem would have been Hydra trying to track down who stole their bank, without attracting the attention of the authorities, since that ain't the only time it happened. But with any influx of undocumented cash, the ones you should be afraid of are the accountants - on both sides.”

“Really.” Wilson smirked.

“Hey, the ones with the books can make it stick. You know, Al Capone’s longest stint in prison was because the IRS got ‘im, and they worked the angle of documenting what he was _spending_ , not what he reported he took in.”

“So you’re saying this really happened,” Wilson gestured to the television.

“Eh, most of it,” Barnes rocked his hand back and forth. “Dunno about the bits with the general listening to ‘the game’, but Gabe and Jim were following the action to mask our movements.”

“I knew some crazy cav dudes in the sandbox, but this guy is way out there.”

“Yeah, looks like they toned down the whole tank crew for the film.” 

“No way.”

“Yeah, Oddball really was that odd. The whole crew was screwy, and it wasn’t ‘cause they were drinking most of the time. Hell, we all were hard drinkers, ‘cept maybe Steve. Not much reason to, if it wasn’t gonna affect him none.”

“It was kinda like that in the sandbox, except for the added dehydration problems.: Sam shrugged, “Besides, the farther away you got from base, the harder it was to find, and if you’re on base, the counselors might call on you if it became a habit that interfered with your missions.”

Bucky gave a nod, “Some of his guys were dancin’ on the edge of blue tickets, if it weren’t for their support crew of camp followers bein’ a smokescreen. His gunner used to ride shotgun on moonshine runs during prohibition and, on a good day for him and a bad day for me, could give me a run for the money at target practice, at least before Azzano. I didn’t dare take a chance on somebody catchin’ wise to the changes after.” Bucky shook off a chill, then went on, “his nav was brilliant at charting by star positions, even updated our maps when they were inaccurate because of bad intel, but he also did readings for signs and portents while checking their course.”

“Was the tank driver as freaked out as they show in the movie?”

Bucky shook his head, “Nah, he was worse. I figure the reason why he was so paranoid is likely because he was high on fumes and maybe a few other things, most of the times we saw ‘em.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Kelly's Heroes (1970) now exists as a media property within the MCU.


End file.
